Just Breathe
by Ultrawoman
Summary: Part of the ‘Just Us’ Series. AU 6.2 Bargaining, Part 2. Dawn was in on the resurrection spell but Spike still wasn’t, Buffy really had fallen into a Hell dimension, instead of going to Heaven, but the gang still brought her back inside her coffin...


Summary: Part of the 'Just Us' Series. AU 6.2 Bargaining, Part 2. Dawn was in on the resurrection spell but Spike still wasn't, Buffy really had fallen into a Hell dimension, instead of going to Heaven, but the gang still brought her back inside her coffin...  
_Disclaimer : Joss owns all the imposrtant BtVS related stuff, like the characters and everything. Bargaianing Part 2 was written by Marti Noxon and David Fury._

Just Breathe

Spike glanced up at the near full moon as he walked through the familiar graveyard. Few minutes to midnight he reckoned, another five hours and it'd be exactly a hundred and forty eight days since... he couldn't finish that thought, couldn't bear to remember the events that haunted him both day and night, asleep and awake.

The fight against Glory and her minions had been bad, but the aim was achieved and Dawn was saved. Other than a few cuts and bruises the whole of the Scooby gang came through intact, but what good were unscathed side kicks when the hero was dead?

Spike could have happily followed Buffy Summers into the light, let his existence end with the sun rise as Angel had once tried to do, but he'd made a promise to a lady and that promise still stood, despite the fact she was gone. He swore to protect Dawn, and if that meant fighting the good fight, helping out the Scoobies, that was what he'd continue to do, for eternity should he live that long.

As certain as his keeping the promise he made the Slayer, every night Spike came to this graveyard and would continue to do so as long as he existed. There he would seek out the stone that bore the Slayers name, a few feet from the marker that said Joyce was there too. Sometimes he'd talk to the pair of them as if they were there, other times he would just think about what had passed, how things might've been better. Sometimes he'd just cry for the loss of those he'd loved, until the morning sun threatened and he was forced to take shelter for the day.

Tonight was going to change all that, and he sensed it several feet before he reached the grave.

Something wasn't right, but Spike couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was. It was just a feeling, a sense that the balance of the universe had been thrown out somehow and it grew stronger as he approached the graves of the Summers' women.

Spike quickened his step when he spotted a figure by Buffy's tombstone, and though he knew it seemed like an insane presumption, he already knew it was her. His Slayer. Buffy.

"Bloody hell" he gasped as he reached her.

Her head shot round sharply and she looked at him with terror in her eyes.

"Buffy?" he said, voice shaking along with the rest of him as he tentatively reached out a hand to her. She backed up like a scared little animal and put herself out of his way, the tombstone that she had a vice grip on standing between them.

"Buffy, how did...?" he stopped half way through his question as he glanced down at his foot and looked to see what had made the crunching sound he just heard. Shards of an urn lay beneath his boots, several candles were strewn about and the earth of the grave was over turned.

"What did they do?" he said more to himself than to the shaking girl who's eyes darted around, looking as if she didn't have a clue where she was. Poor bint probably thought she was still in hell, Spike realised and he tried to overcome his shock enough to help her.

"Buffy, do you remember me?" he said gently as he got a little closer, "Luv, my name's Spike. We're... well, we're friends" he said uncertainly, unsure what exactly his and the Slayer's relationship should be defined as, "Do you remember?" he asked again.

"No" she shook her head, "I don't... I do, but..." she rambled a little, still looking so scared. Tears came to her eyes, cascading down her cheeks as she tried to make a reasonable sentence come out of her mouth, "You're not here" she told him and Spike frowned.

"I am here, pet" he told her, "No matter what happened to you wherever you were, this is a safe place, and I am here. I want to help you, Slayer" he told her desperately hoping she would understand.

"I wish you could" she cried, "Spike, I wish it were different, I wish you were real, oh God I wish..." she sobbed, looking like her heart was breaking as she sank to her knees by the graveside her body heaving.

Spike felt like his insides were being torn up as he saw her suffering. Not caring what reaction he might get right now, he dropped to his knees beside her and reached out to hold her. She went into his arms, surprising him and thrilling him at the same time, though his over-riding emotions right now were not at all pleasant. He felt desperately sorry for Buffy, feeling her pain as one does when they love another and see them in the state she was in right in that moment.

"Ssh, pet, 's alright" he tried to soothe her, his hand stroking her mud caked hair as he held her more-or-less on his lap right now.

"Nothing's alright" Buffy cried into his chest, "Nothing, it all goes away and then it hurts more, it hurts so much"

"Nothing's going to hurt you here, luv" Spike promised her, "Got my word on that, I won't let it. You're safe now, Buffy, you're home"

"Home?" she echoed the word as she pulled her head up suddenly, almost smacking Spike in the chin as she did so, "They never do that, they never... you never say home" she frowned hard as she stared at the vampire. Spike looked almost as confused as she did as he pushed some hair back off her tearstained face.

"Who are 'they', luv?" he asked her gently, thinking it best to stick to one simple question at a time.

"They, them, they want me to suffer, to hurt..." she started to ramble hysterically once again and Spike got hold of her arms as she thrashed about a bit.

"No, luv, now come on" he told her gently, "Just stay calm for me. That's it, pet, breathe" he instructed her as she tried to do just that.

"Am I home?" she asked him a moment later, "Real home?" she checked, looking and sounding so young and lost, all Spike wanted to do was hold her tight and keep her safe forever. He'd missed her so damn much and she'd suffered so much in the time she'd been away. The Scoobies must have been right, that portal had clearly sucked her essence into some hell dimension, but he couldn't believe they'd been so irresponsible as to resurrect her as it seemed they had if the candles and smashed urn were anything to go by.

"This is home, luv" Spike told her with a nod, "Your mates are about somewhere, and Dawnie. You remember?" he checked.

"They're here" she said as realisation seemed to dawn in her eyes, "You're here. It's real. I'm home" she began to cry all over again, though Spike believed this was more likely relief and joy than the pain from before. The smell of fear left her in seconds as she flung herself back into his arms and held on tight.

Spike felt so ridiculous when he realised there were tears on his own cheeks too as he held his Slayer close and revelled in the feeling of her in his arms. She was back and it was the most incredible thing, but he was not such a fool to think she'd want to be so close to him from now on. This was a one off, just because she was confused and all, he knew that. Still, he wasn't going to forget this feeling, not for the world would he part with the memory of holding her like this. As emotions stronger than he'd ever felt before overcame him, he was very thankful that it was not necessary for him to breathe.

The End


End file.
